


I Can't Lose You...

by HMSquared



Series: Writing Prompts and Tumblr Posts [3]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Ambrollins is mentioned by name, Basically all of my feelings about their feud in one place, Cliffhangers, Dean's Heel Turn, Dreams, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Forgot to mention that earlier, Frozen In Time, Guilt, Hallucinations, Hangover, Hotels, I should've said that earlier as well, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Non-gory blood, Not in a literal sense, Regret, Sad Seth, Sadness, Seth feels awkward about his crush on Dean, Seth is very out of it, Sleepiness, This story is finally done, Thoughtful Roman, Time Skips, Trying to deny his feelings, Weightlessness, Yet another flashback, breaking in - Freeform, deafness, dean cries, kind of, more dreaming, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-09-12 12:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16872924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: ...because if I ever did, I’d have lost my smile, my best friend, my partner in crime, my soulmate, my everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a Tumblr post, which I am going to attempt to embed at the end. If that doesn't work, I will put the link here.
> 
> Enjoy!

Seth was a combination of slammed and weightless. His head was pounding, throbbing with pain, but everything else was numb; not in a physical way exactly, but a subjective way. He was stumbling down the hall, eyes heavy and ears clogged. In other words, Seth looked drunk.

Dean had finally turned on him. Seth had only been told about it ten minutes before, and Dean slamming him into the ground had made him feel worse. 

"Seth!" Bayley was calling his name. Seth ignored her; he was not in the mood. She kept yelling after him, but he didn't acknowledge her. He didn't even turn around.

Seth stopped at his locker, grabbing the bag holding his change of clothes. He changed quickly, the locker room empty. People would no doubt look for him, but they were probably talking to Dean. For some sick reason, that made Seth mad. He was Seth Freakin Rollins, The Architect, The Kingslayer, and somehow, a lunatic was more important.

He shook his head, wincing. Seth didn't need to be thinking stuff like that. Dean didn't deserve it, even though he had shattered their friendship.

After closing his locker, Seth wandered out to the parking lot, fumbling with his key. Dean was probably getting a ride from somebody else anyway, most likely Roman. The Big Dog hadn't left the building, choosing to stick around. Bet he was regretting that right now.

Across the street from the hotel was a drugstore. Parking, Seth walked toward it, savoring the cold North Carolina weather. Beanie scrunched over his ears, he breathed out a puff of air, then opened the door to the shop, eyes blinded by the bright neon sign.

A young woman with dark hair and tattoos was behind the counter, ringing up two college kids no doubt buying drinks for their next party. She looked up briefly when the bell over the door chimed but said nothing. Shooting her a small look, Seth walked among the aisles, not really looking for anything in particular.

There was a spinning rack of candy bars in the middle of the store. Seth spun it lazily, nothing appealing to him. After a minute or two, he shut his eyes and picked a bar at random, slipping it into his pocket. Then Seth grabbed a bottle of beer from the freezer, not caring about the brand or flavor. He just needed something to drink.

After walking around for a couple more minutes, Seth finally headed to check out. Setting the beer down, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the candy bar; it turned out to be a Butterfinger. Smiling slightly, remembering how he and Dean had eaten the candy one day the summer before, Seth placed it next to the beer.

"How was Raw?" the woman, whose nametag read "Macy," asked. Trying not to wince, he replied, getting out his wallet to provide ID,

"Fine." Macy rang up the beer and Butterfinger, the price flashing up on the screen. Seth traded the driver's license for a few dollar bills, setting them down on the counter. As he attempted to shove the license back into his wallet, Macy smiled.

"Must be a little out of it."

"Huh?" She gestured to the counter.

"You're missing a dollar."

"Sorry." Seth fished out another dollar bill, handing it over with shaking fingers. She took it, smiled sympathetically, then said as he picked up the items and left,

"Have a good night!" Seth grunted a reply, partly because he was in a bad mood and partly because he didn't want to drop the beer bottle trying to close the door.

Leaving the beer and candy in the car, he headed inside to get the room key. Seth then headed back outside, grabbed his food and drink, before taking the outside steps two at a time. Holding the beer under one arm, he shakily unlocked the door.

Dean was sleeping a few doors down, which meant Seth had some privacy. Shutting the door behind him, he took off his jacket and threw it onto a chair, his beanie joining it. Then, swallowing, Seth peeled off his clothes and took a long, hot shower, the beer and Butterfinger sitting on the table beside his bed.

Combing his hair, Seth fought back tears for the first time that night. Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he let out a chuckle. One night without Dean had turned him into a mess. Was he really that much in love? The correct answer was yes.

Setting down on the flimsy mattress, Seth opened the Butterfinger and wolfed it down in two bites. He and Dean had invented a game where they saw how long it took for candy to dissolve in their mouths, but now it seemed childish and silly. Tossing the wrapper into the trash, Seth then opened the beer. It tasted terrible, but he drank it anyway; it gave him something to do without thinking about Dean.

Tossing the bottle in the trash as well, he laid his head back on the mattress, eyes almost shutting. After fifteen minutes of restlessness, Seth went to the restaurant downstairs and ordered a couple more beers. They were much better than the first, but Seth didn't care. He was really tired, and hopefully, the alcohol would knock him out.

The room started spinning after his fourth beer from the bar, a sign it was time to sleep. Taking the elevator upstairs, Seth flopped back down on the mattress, his eyes shutting as his body hit the blankets. He didn't even have the energy to take off his shoes.

 


	2. Chapter 2

He could smell Dean. Everything was dark, but he could smell him; lotion, sweat, and a light Cincinnati odor. Noise was filling his ears, fuzzy, staticky noise. Wincing, Seth thought to himself,  _Everything's too loud._

His eyes snapped open, the static disappearing. He was back in the ring and Dean was on top of him, screaming in his ears. The crowd was booing wildly, and Seth was so out of it he didn't even realize he was dreaming.

"Dean..." His voice was watery. "Please stop..." Dean clutched at his face, continuing to sneer in anger. Then everything changed.

Seth suddenly found himself standing up in the center of the ring, Dean hugging him. It was a minute or two before the betrayal, and they had just won. He wanted so badly to pull away, but he couldn't. He could hear Dean whispering in his ear,

"We did it, buddy. We did it." Had he actually said that? Seth wasn't sure.

Time changed again, and Seth found himself clinging to the barricade, the referee checking on him. Closing his eyes, he let the tears come, Dean's voice shattering his eardrums from far away. He remembered this happening, but it still felt real. Everything felt real.

Now he was on the ramp, mic in his hand and smiling. Dolph, Drew, and Kurt were in the ring, the Intercontinental Championship around Dolph's waist. The crowd was cheering, but they were faded cheers, almost like Seth was underwater. He tried to close his eyes but couldn't. Dean's music started to play, everything fading away again.

Words left Seth's mouth uncontrollably. He was sitting in a chair, Dean to his right. They were filming the first episode of WWE Playback, rewatching their HIAC match from three years prior. The volume on the computer was tiny, and he could barely hear it. Seth leaned forward to turn it up, Dean suddenly grabbing his wrist. It scared him, not understanding that the problem wasn't the computer, but rather his ears.

More words left his mouth, quiet words. He was standing in front of a cameraman, pointing at Dean. Corbin was across from him, listening. Right, the promo from the week after he and Dean had "escaped jail." Seth swallowed, trying to read Corbin's lips. He could barely hear the Lone Wolf.

Seth fist-bumped Dean, a smile on his face. They were talking to the officer from the previous segment with Corbin. Dean was talking, but he couldn't understand a word The Lunatic Fringe was saying. His lips, those beautiful lips, were moving, but no sound was escaping. Seth took the opportunity to pinch himself. What the heck was going on?

His hands crashed into Dean's chest. They were standing on the ramp, yelling at each other. Of course: the night Dean had shoved him. 

Everything was moving in slow-motion. The static had returned, filling Seth's body with pain, but there was nothing he could do. Dean was still yelling, fading away, but Seth couldn't move. All he wanted to do was grab his friend, kiss him until the sound returned...

The smell of alcohol and blood filled his nose. It was so sudden he tried to stumble backward but couldn't. After a few seconds, Seth's legs regained feeling, and he fell onto the ramp, head splitting open in a painful crack. His eyes glazed over, but Dean didn't look down. He was still yelling at thin air.

Needless to say, The Kingslayer screamed himself awake.


	3. Chapter 3

Shivering, Seth took a few deep breaths to steady himself. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, he realized there was a blob sitting on the bed across from him.

"Hello?" Even his voice was shaky. Smiling, the blob moved forward into the light. It was Roman. "Roman? What are you doing here?"

"After chatting with Dean, I decided to check on you." A small smile appeared on his face. "Bad dream?"

"Not bad, just...interesting." Seth hugged his knees, then looked at the floor. "No, you're right," he sniffled, "it was bad." Roman came over and sat down next to his friend, lightly squeezing The Kingslayer's shoulder.

"What happened?" Seth inhaled, trying to gather his thoughts.

"I was moving through time, getting stuck in different moments from the past month or so. Dean was in every one of them, and as the dream dragged on, my hearing..." He involuntarily shivered. "It got worse and worse until I couldn't hear at all. The dream ended with me falling backward and cracking my head on the ramp." Roman winced, causing Seth to look at him. "What do you think it means?"

"Well..." Seth frowned.

"What, Roman?"

"I have a theory, but you're not going to like it."

"Try me." Seth's smirk faded when Roman answered.

"I think the feud with Dean means you can't tell him how much you're crushing on him." Seth's face paled.

"What?! That's ridiculous, I don't-" Roman interrupted with a scoff.

"The hundreds of Ambrollins shippers and I say otherwise."

"'Ambrollins?'" Seth laughed. Nodding, Roman got out his phone and pulled up a few tabs. Tumblrs, art, fanfiction...someone had even made a twitter about Ambrollins, the ship between him and Dean. Swallowing, he asked Roman, "Why are you showing me this?"

"To show you that liking him isn't weird or stupid." Roman smiled. "In fact, and I haven't asked him this, but I bet Dean likes you too."

"So what should I do about it?"

"Tell him. It will make the feud less awkward." Roman placed his hand on Seth's shoulder, causing something to click in the latter's brain.

"Roman...you're not real, are you?" He shook his head.

"I'm an alcohol-induced hallucination, but everything I'm telling you is true." The hallucination smiled, standing up. "Get some sleep, Seth. Talk with Dean in the morning."

"Okay..." Seth slowly leaned his head back on the mattress and closed his eyes, Roman's smile widening as he faded from existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Ambrollins twitter is an actual thing. The handle is @DailyAmbrollins. Check it out, it's adorable.


	4. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said I would finish "Hounds of Vegas" first? Well, in my haze, I forgot all about this. I think we can agree the chapter quality has gone up.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was an hour after the show. Standing on the curb, Roman watched the dark sky, processing everything that had happened. Everything had changed, and now things were different.

Dean's hand grazed his shoulder but didn't grasp it. He looked over his shoulder; the former Lunatic Fringe looked upset.

"I'm sorry..." The words were choked out. Not turning around, Roman pulled Dean toward him, wrapping an arm around his head. Dean squeezed lightly, tears streaming down his face and hitting Roman's sleeve.

"We'll figure everything out. How's Seth?"

"I haven't seen him. He must have gone to the hotel already." Facing his friend, Roman hugged Dean. The red-haired man clung to his shirt, sobbing. "He probably hates my guts."

"None of us were happy about this," Roman whispered, rubbing Dean's hair. "We didn't have a choice." After a couple of minutes, standing there in the parking lot, they headed back inside and grabbed their luggage.

For obvious but unintentional reasons, none of the Hounds were sharing a room. As they pulled into the hotel parking lot, Roman spotted Seth's car; a rental whose license plate Dean had memorized instantly (a funny quirk of his). Grabbing their bags, the two friends headed inside.

Even though he was exhausted and didn't like conversing with strangers (aside from Make-A-Wish kids, of course), Dean did the talking at the front desk. Taking a much-needed deep breath, Roman looked around the hotel lobby.

A figure caught his eye. Sitting at the bar, sipping a beer, was Seth. He didn't see Roman, but Roman saw him. After a minute or two, he rose from his seat and stumbled to the elevator.

Turning back around, Roman winced. Dean was sadly watching Seth, a faraway look in his eyes. Squeezing his shoulder, Roman gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Clasping their suitcases, they walked to the elevator.

Dean's hotel room was next to Roman's, Seth's a few doors down. Stopping in front of his door, Dean smiled.

"Well, this is me."

"Yeah...good night, Deano." Blinking, Dean suddenly hugged him. Roman was startled but accepted it. He felt so sorry for his friend, who would actually have to experience the consequences of the evening.

After putting away his clothes (it was really late, but no cares were given), Roman quietly traveled down the hall to Seth's door. Pressed against the wall so as not to make noise, he tapped his fist against the door.

"Seth? Are you there?" No response. Pressing his ear against the door, Roman heard breathing, snoring. Smiling, he turned to go.

There was a pained groan. Whipping back around, Roman pressed his body against the door and listened. Seth was dreaming; that he knew. All he wanted to do was burst inside and help.

But no. He couldn't do that. Seth had made it clear he wanted to be alone. They would have to talk in the morning.


	5. Apologetic

Seth's eyes fluttered open. His head hurt like hell, the blinds were open and sunlight was filtering in. The light hurt his eyes, bouncing on the wall and casting interesting shadows.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," a voice said. Jumping out of his skin, Seth looked up. Sitting in a chair, legs crossed, was Dean. He didn't look happy.

"Dean?" Sitting up, Seth ran his fingers through his hair, trying to process everything. "How did you...?"

"I convinced the lady at the front desk to give me a key. She'll probably lose her job, but..." Dean shrugged. "Not my problem."

"What are you doing here?" The lack of empathy in Dean's voice scared Seth, angered him. Leaning forward, Dean swallowed.

"I came to apologize."

"For what?"

"For..." Clicking his tongue, Dean met Seth's glance, his heart bursting. "Everything. Not just what they forced us to do in the ring, but how I've acted since my return. I expected to be welcomed back with open arms, and they forced us into this."

"Dean, why didn't you tell me this earlier? We could have-"

"Shut up!" Dean burst from his chair, hysterical. "You always make these things about yourself, Seth! Every time I try to succeed, you stamp all over me! It's been happening since your heel turn, and I'm sick of it. So, for once in your life, shut up and listen." Dangling his feet off the edge of the bed, Seth nodded and listened.

Dean was pacing, trying to choose his words. Turning back to Seth, he asked, voice catching,

"How much did you drink last night?"

"Why does that matter?"

"Just trying to figure out how hungover you are." A smirk pierced Dean's lips, an expression Seth hadn't seen in a long time. 

"Four bottles of beer...I think." As if on cue, Seth burped, causing Dean to laugh. Then his face fell.

"Seth...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"This." Charging forward, Dean inched his face toward Seth's but didn't close the gap. Looking at his friend, tears in his eyes, he whispered, "I love you, and I always have. Do you understand that?" Seth smiled. "What?"

"I'm glad I'm not crazy." Then, leaning forward slightly, he opened his mouth, convincing Dean to finally close the space between them.


	6. It's Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter in a story I should have finished a long time ago.
> 
> The gifs are what inspired this whole story, as you could probably tell by the summary. The post was reblogged by the amazing Cecil, and it can be found [here.](http://deanseths.tumblr.com/post/179900041538/soulmatesifyouwill-its-o-k-a-y)
> 
> Also...a few weeks ago my ears started acting really funky, and everything was really loud. It made my sensitive hearing even worse, and I sympathize even more with Seth and Dean in this story.
> 
> Enjoy!

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid I can't do that," the woman behind the counter said, staring at Dean with tired eyes. Wiggling his fingers to prevent himself from punching her in the face, Dean snapped,

"He's my best friend, and I need to see him. And the only way I can do that is-"

"By getting a key, yes, I know sir. But it's against company policy." There was a picture sitting on the desk, showing the woman and two children. Dean smiled.

"Are those your kids?" The woman nodded.

"They're my whole life, sir. If I lose this job..." She broke off, close to tears. Dean swallowed, thinking.

"Tell you what. You give me that key, and I'll put in a good word to your boss." Realizing how that sounded, he sighed. "Listen, I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just worried about my friend." The woman nodded.

"You punched him in the face, and now you want to apologize." When Dean's eyes widened in shock, the woman smiled. "My kids are big fans."

"Oh..." Dean swallowed, guilt rising in his stomach. "I'm sorry, I-" The woman held out the key, smiling.

"I understand completely. Just take it." Dean nodded in shock, took the key, then asked for the woman's name. She gave it (Marza), and he quickly wrote a note to her boss. Handing the envelope over, a few dollar bills slipped inside as a gift, he wished Marza good-night, then headed back upstairs. 

Roman was asleep. That he knew. Stopping outside Seth's door, Dean looked at the key in his hand. He had no idea if his friend was conscious or not, and he knew that if it were the former, things would not end well. But that was a chance he had to take.

The door cracked open. Silently chastising Seth for not using the deadbolt, Dean slipped the key into his pocket and examined his surroundings. Seth was lying on his bed, fast asleep. The nightmares and hallucinations had come and gone; his hair was staticky, his shirt wrinkled.

He looked cold. Knowing how light of a sleeper he was, Dean carefully pulled back the covers and dragged Seth backward. Waiting a few seconds, he tucked his friend in then, for no reason at all, kissed him on the forehead.

There was a chair at the foot of the bed. Dean sat in it and creepily watched Seth sleep. After a few minutes, the evening got to him, and his head tipped forward.

 

Dean's eyes opened. Seth was yelling at him. They were standing on the ramp, a few weeks before all hell broke loose. The crowd's roars were earsplitting, and he couldn't cover his ears. Everything hurt.

Time changed. They were in the hallway, a few weeks before the previous scene. Seth had just bumped Dean on the shoulder, opening up for a fistbump. The sound here was normal, calming. Dean smiled a small smile, trying to process everything.

Seth was now snarking at Corbin, Dean quietly listening. He hated this, being lulled into a false sense of security. Any minute now, it would shatter.

The match from HIAC a few years ago was playing. Seth and Dean were watching it, cameras trained on them. The first episode of Playback, staring the Kingslayer and the Lunatic Fringe. Back when everything was okay.

Seth was grinning, standing on the ramp. Dean was about to make his entrance. When his music hit, he grunted, set down his water bottle, then walked through the curtains.

There was a painful crack as everything kicked up to eleven, shattering his fantasy. Dean was standing on the ramp once again, wearing his "Return to Society" shirt. Seth was at ringside, clutching the barricade. The night of the betrayal had hit, and here he was, forced to watch his friend suffer.

They were in the ring, hugging. Despite it being a happy moment, Dean's ears were ringing. He was sandwiched between horrible moments, and he had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

Seth was on the floor, Dean screaming at him. As he clutched his former partner's face, screeching, blood rose in his throat. Sound crashed into his ears, tearing everything apart.

_The world is too loud._

 

Dean's eyes snapped open, a terrified groan escaping him. He was awake, back in the hotel room. Seth was still fast asleep, a peaceful smile on his face. Coughing, the Lunatic Fringe settled back into his chair and pinched himself. When the sun rose, he would pull back the curtains and confess everything.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment!


End file.
